“You may think that you are not good enough, but God’s grace and love are bigger than who you think you are.”
by Jamie Steinhart
I often find that the voices in my head are loud and persistent when it comes to my own worthiness. Depending on the day or the circumstances, I can convince myself I am not smart enough, strong enough, empathetic enough; simply not enough of what I should be. When I snap at one of my kids I wonder why I’m not more patient. When I am preoccupied with housework and laundry, and disregard my husband, I ask myself why I’m not more loving. When I forget a friend’s birthday, or neglect a thank you note, I question why I can’t seem to do what is expected of me. I am my own worst critic, as we all are at times, and I keep a running checklist of all the things I’m not doing right in my life. Worthy of God’s grace? Not hardly.
Does God hear me talk to myself like this? My guess is that He does, and frankly it probably makes Him a little sad. Where I see fault he only sees beauty. When I struggle to balance work and family and an occasional moment to myself, He sees sacrifice. While I tally up my shortcomings, He is counting the ways He loves me. Does He judge me like I judge myself? I presume He does not. I was divinely created in His own image, so all He can see in me, in each of us, is loveliness, even when we can’t see it ourselves.
Because this God we worship is all about the love: enormous, infinite, unconditional, never wavering love for His children. He bestows us with His grace and mercy to prove His devotion to us, to remind us that nothing we do will change His feelings for us. The small mistakes I make, the worst sins I’ve committed, are never held against me. That is His promise. And ultimately He has the final say on what is written on my soul. Because in the end His Love is always bigger than who I think I am.